Exploring kennyS’s mental health journey, career challenges, and comeback ambitions in competitive gaming
Career Turning Point: The Malmö Paradox
Professional esports athlete kennyS from G2 Esports has courageously shared his journey through mental health challenges and competitive obstacles as he prepares for a potential return to professional gaming, considering both CS:GO and Valorant as viable paths forward.
In an emotionally transparent discussion with Dexerto, Kenny ‘kennyS’ Schrub, recognized as one of Counter-Strike’s legendary players, revealed his mental health battles and competitive difficulties. The French AWPer aims to resume his competitive career and remains open to transitioning to Valorant should opportunities in CS:GO become unavailable.
kennyS identifies a precise moment when his professional trajectory began shifting negatively. During September 2017, his G2 Esports squad had just secured the DreamHack Masters Malmö championship following a decisive two-map victory against North.
Adela Sznajder/DreamHackDreamHack Masters Malmö 2017 represented the final major championship victory in kennyS’s career Despite earning MVP honors for the tournament, kennyS experienced no celebratory feelings. He was combating internal psychological battles, with retirement considerations dominating his thoughts. “Prior to the competition, I assembled my teammates and expressed my desire to leave competitive gaming,” kennyS revealed to Dexerto. “I informed them I would make a definitive decision during the tournament itself. Retirement seemed like the appropriate choice at that moment.
“The tournament victory and MVP award brought me no satisfaction. They should have. My mental state was particularly unusual during this period. I achieved tournament success, received individual recognition, yet felt completely empty emotionally.
“Looking backward, I recognize I should have celebrated with champagne and embraced the achievement, but that emotional response was completely absent.” This championship marked kennyS’s final tier-one tournament victory or MVP recognition. He continued competing not from renewed passion, but from uncertainty about alternative paths. He also feared concluding his career on such negative terms, concerned he might later regret what he described as “an emotionally-driven decision.”
The underlying issues persisted, and his competitive performance deteriorated as he “entered a depressive state.” “I experienced tournament fluctuations—some strong performances, some weak showings, productive months followed by struggling periods,” he acknowledged. “My consistency became significantly compromised.” Previously considered among the game’s most dependable AWPers, kennyS gradually receded from competitive prominence.
Patterns of Decline and Mental Health Struggles
kennyS emerged prominently during Counter-Strike’s Source era conclusion, transitioning to CS:GO in 2012 summer alongside his VeryGames teammates. From 2013 through 2017, he consistently appeared in HLTV’s Top 20 player rankings (achieving top-10 placement three times) and accumulated ten MVP awards, including one from DreamHack Open Cluj-Napoca 2015 Major secured with Team Envy. By 2017’s conclusion, only Christopher ‘GeT_RiGhT’ Alesund matched kennyS’s MVP collection, with most achieved during Ninjas in Pyjamas’ dominant period when competitive CS:GO was establishing its foundation. By virtually all measurable standards, kennyS ranked among Counter-Strike’s elite historical players. However, entering this difficult life chapter, accumulated poor habits finally manifested consequences. “I consistently recognized my exceptional natural ability and believed that alone would suffice,” he stated. “Eventually, this proved insufficient because other equally talented competitors were dedicating tremendous effort. As the saying goes, unrefined talent ultimately achieves nothing.”
During September 2020, following extended periods of performance volatility, kennyS committed to intensified training after G2 acquired Nikola ‘NiKo’ Kovač from FaZe Clan in a landmark transfer. The Bosnian star’s arrival provided motivational uplift but simultaneously triggered insecurity feelings. The esports community frequently observes NiKo assuming additional responsibilities when team synergy falters, maintaining accountability through demanding standards.
“I initiated serious training regimens, something I’d neglected throughout my career,” kennyS explained. “I recognized, ‘I’m no longer G2 CS:GO’s focal point. I’m competing alongside NiKo, an exceptionally skilled and dedicated player. I must elevate my game.'” The anticipation of NiKo liberated from in-game leadership constraints, playing beside cousin Nemanja ‘huNter-‘ Kovač and kennyS generated fan excitement, but the roster dramatically underperformed. IEM Beijing-Haidian semifinal placement—a relatively minor tournament—represented G2’s strongest finish in subsequent months as the team suffered early eliminations from multiple premier events.
Concurrently, kennyS recorded some career-low statistics, with his in-game impact noticeably diminishing. During March, shortly after IEM Katowice group stage elimination, G2 announced kennyS’s benching as support player Audric ‘JaCkz’ Jug rejoined the active roster, sacrificing individual skill for improved team stability and structural coherence.
BLASTFollowing months of subpar performances, G2 management moved kennyS to substitute position This represented kennyS’s first career benching experience. While most players would feel devastated in this situation, he instead experienced relief. “I believe the team environment eventually became unsuitable for my playstyle,” kennyS clarified. “With JaCkz unavailable, we fielded three players requiring created space, with only AmaNEk fulfilling that role.
“Managing three star players simultaneously while ensuring satisfaction proved extremely challenging. When your organization invests significantly in NiKo’s acquisition, naturally they’ll position him optimally. I lost positional freedom, as did huNter.
“Despite my increased dedication, management decided to bench me, and I cannot criticize their decision. Truthfully, I felt momentary sadness, but subsequently experienced tremendous relief. The situation had become increasingly complex for me.
“Professional intuition typically foreshadows these developments. I participated in a bootcamp immediately before benching and sensed the impending change. My confidence had completely eroded. Poor performances became undeniable reality. The situation grew increasingly difficult.”
Life on the Bench: Relief and Realization
According to his assessment, competitive pressure—both external expectations and internal standards—became overwhelming. After ten years competing at esports’ highest level, he suddenly discovered no enjoyment in gaming, with professional competition transforming into “nightmarish experiences.” “Eventually, the environment fundamentally altered my personality,” he revealed. “My girlfriend witnessed emotional breakdowns, where I would spontaneously cry after six months enduring constant criticism and challenges.
“Then, one poor match leads to another, personal life complications arise, and emotional pressure requires release. My release mechanism involves emotional expression through tears.
“This occurred frequently throughout the previous eighteen months. I absorbed continuous pressure until reaching emotional capacity and releasing everything simultaneously. This emotional catharsis primarily explained my relief feelings.”
Despite experiencing relief from competitive break, kennyS didn’t retire following benching. Maintaining hope for team offers, he continued training to preserve competitive readiness and publicly expressed determination to “continue CS dedication” despite Valorant’s appeal. However, as time progressed, he confronted the difficult realization that his skills faced diminished demand. Valorant’s emergence combined with global health crisis economic impacts redirected organizational focus away from Counter-Strike. Remaining CS:GO organizations often strengthen rosters through contract expirations or acquiring less-established, cost-effective alternatives.
As major transfers became increasingly rare in CS:GO, established players frequently languish when benched. “COVID-19 negatively impacted competitive gaming, and player migration makes organizational investment challenging, particularly for 26-year-old players with perceived work ethic concerns,” kennyS acknowledged. “I acknowledge truthfully that laziness characterized my entire career. Obviously, my current position enables retrospective recognition that different approaches would have benefited me. However, present circumstances reflect past choices. Everyone makes errors. My current situation directly results from those mistakes.
“I received no compelling CS:GO offers. My benching timing proved unfortunately coincidental. My contractual buyout likely remains substantial, though my market value decreases over time. I represent significant investment as 26-year-old player with decade-long career. Organizations might consider me suboptimal investment, which I comprehend.
“I felt some disappointment because I want CS:GO’s continued survival, even without my participation. I don’t anticipate the game’s demise, but its current condition appears suboptimal.” While pausing competitive aspirations, kennyS discovered alternative engagement methods. He regularly streams CS:GO and Valorant public matches and produces gaming content for his 100,000+ YouTube subscribers.
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Future Paths: CS:GO vs. Valorant Decision
Content creation, while refreshing, introduces distinct challenges. “I anticipated increased free time, but reality proved different,” he stated. “I’ve taken no vacation time and arguably work more intensively than during competitive days. However, the experience remains enjoyable. I collaborate with preferred partners.” During September, he attended VCT Stage 3 Masters Berlin with his girlfriend, collecting behind-the-scenes footage for YouTube publication. According to his assessment, this provided valuable perspective that reinforced competitive desires. The experience also challenged preconceived Valorant assumptions and its competitive landscape.
“I felt frustration watching stage performances, observing celebratory reactions during clutch rounds,” kennyS admitted. “I genuinely miss competitive environments.
“I certainly appreciate Valorant’s gameplay quality. The game demonstrates solid design. I maintain CS loyalty but reject artificial rivalry narratives. That approach lacks logic—objective evaluation and experimentation prove essential.
“VCT attendance altered my game perspective. CS backgrounds might create ‘Valorant simplicity’ assumptions, but reality contradicts this. Exceptional CS skill doesn’t guarantee dominance or superiority. That mentality ensures failure.
“I realized CS veterans should respect Valorant’s top performers. Most professional players originate from CS, but consider nAts—in my assessment Valorant’s premier player. He transitioned from CS without professional background. Dedicated effort separates exceptional performers.” Valorant emerged as potential career alternative following kennyS’s benching, with rumors connecting him to Alliance. Addressing speculation, kennyS denied team trials while acknowledging “numerous Valorant offers.” This seems predictable given his Counter-Strike achievements and former tier-one CS:GO players’ successful transitions to Riot Games’ title.
Although kennyS enjoys content creation, he unequivocally desires competitive return. The central question involves platform selection—CS:GO, his childhood passion that now seems unreciprocated, or Valorant. He postpones decisions until after PGL Major Stockholm, only his second missed Major tournament. This timing enables assessment of CS:GO opportunities as top teams initiate roster adjustments for new competitive seasons.
“Honestly, I’m uncertain about my CS:GO future,” kennyS confessed. “I love this game and wish circumstances differed. I desire change but cannot guarantee opportunity availability.” These sentiments recall Adil ‘ScreaM’ Benrlitom’s 2020 statements expressing similar wishes while transitioning from CS to Valorant opportunities.
Team LiquidScreaM revitalized his professional career in Valorant after encountering limited CS:GO options kennyS finds comfort knowing other professionals experienced similar emotional conflicts.
“ScreaM’s statements directly resonate with me,” he stated, laughing. Reflecting on his career, kennyS expressed pride in “individual accomplishments and championship achievements.” Having become Counter-Strike’s recognizable figure, he acknowledged painful potential of unceremonious departure.
“I reject retirement under these circumstances,” he declared. “Perhaps necessity will dictate otherwise, but such conclusion feels inappropriate.
“I want to demonstrate that my situation results from personal errors, proving to myself and observers that I can learn from experiences and still become the player everyone expects and I aspire to be.
“Winning another tier-one CS:GO event would feel exceptionally rewarding.” Like ScreaM, who rejuvenated his career in Valorant, kennyS refuses passive waiting for opportunities. After evaluating past mistakes and achieving mental recovery, he’s prepared to demonstrate continued elite-level potential. https://twitter.com/BLASTVALORANT/status/1445010830525861890 On October 4, organizers announced his participation in Team France’s Valorant charity event BLAST Spike Nations. Initial announcement reception suggests Valorant might provide supportive community that proved elusive in Counter-Strike.
“I experience mild frustration observing fan reactions—some demanded my benching, then requested my return after benching occurred,” he noted. “I responded, ‘I was available previously when unwanted!’
“Ultimately, I developed improved mentality, implemented correct approaches, but multiple factors prevented success. CS:GO departure would sadden me because I possess competitive capabilities, but absent CS opportunities will lead elsewhere.
“Losing CS:GO connection feels difficult, and my absence likely harms the game. Reality dictates circumstances. If organizations deny opportunities, others will provide them, and I’ll capitalize.
“My mental health suffered tremendously recently but has improved significantly. This transformation creates substantial difference. Ultimately, I seek competition and achievement. Previously, I lacked self-focus, merely surviving daily. Now I establish plans. Strategic objectives provide essential motivation. While I maintain goals, I remain content.”
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